onion

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Quoted: Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things.

Love the Onion

Quoted: Officials confirm that all online data has been lost after the Internet crashed and was forced to restart.

I think the Onion is spying on my life. This is verbatim stuff my mystery cat sitter has said, except she's even more flaky. Funny.

Quoted: HARTFORD, CT—It's really no hassle, Sarah Dobbs, 44, said. If you're gone and need someone to drop in on them, I'd be happy to do it. I'm just glad to help.

Quoted: Just the other day, I was watching the TV, and I'll be damned if everyone didn't start talking 'bout this new thing called a Barack Obama.

I remember reading this in '03, and thinking it was funny ... now, sort of scary.

Quoted: George W. Bush may think that a war against Iraq is the solution to our problems, but the reality is, it will only serve to create far more.

I don't play WOW, but this Onion report on WOW's next installment is hilarious.

Quoted: World Of World Of Warcraft's amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of Warcraft.

Yuni makes the Onion.

Quoted: Betancourt said of McLaren and not Castro. "He calls team meetings, but he's just doing them to make it seem like he's doing a good job managing. For Christ's sake, he starts Miguel Cairo at first base sometimes.

mmm....g.t.a. is the pinnacle of western civilization

Quoted: LIBERTY CITY—I was shot 14 times on my way to work today, including twice by police, said one Algonquin-area resident. That is unacceptable.

Quoted: Many blame the LCPD directly for the increase in criminal activity, citing the department's lax procedure for arresting criminals, which involves taking 10 percent of the suspect's money, confiscating his weapons, and simply releasing him from custody later that day. Outraged citizens say this is not enough, especially in a city where assault rifles can be found on factory roofs and grenade caches are located under the globe at the old World's Fair site.

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awesome.

Quoted: Important news out of Haiti's capital today. The Onion's Don Abrams reports live.More coverage at: http://www.onion.com