parent

I know I had one. I remember as a child hearing it being called over and over again by frustrated adults. I remember having to respond to it in school and later it was found on things like report cards, drivers license and paychecks. I knew who I was. My name was my identity. What I did in life, what my role in life changed but my name was always with me.

Over the years I have come to realize that our fear of failure has more control over our actions then our drive to succeed. Most of us will go out of our way to not fail. Many will put more effort in avoiding what they perceive as failure then they put into trying to become successful. Our fears are a great motivator. I know that I will go to almost any lengths to avoid what I see as failure, which is also my greatest fear.

How do single parents deal with dating and the potential hart break for their children? How hard is it to let someone into your life, and your children’s lives knowing that there is no guaranty they will be there in a year or even next week. I am seeing my friends having to make the decision to date or not. When children involved there is more risk of failed relationships and heartache all around. You also have to think about whom you are letting into your home and life.

I received a call from the school, a lady with a panicked voice told me to come pick up my son from the principles office. He was acting out and they felt I should come pick him up. Ok. Off I went not sure what to expect. What I found was the principles office in lock down as they tried to control my 5 year old. This included restraining him “for his own safety” as he was jumping on things, hitting and more. I told them to let him go, and my son ran to me. Then he became hostile to me as well as I tried to find out what was going on.

We all hear about the deadbeat Dad’s but what about the ones that are not. The ones who miss their kids and want to be full time everyday Dad’s who only get to be sometime Dad’s. The ones who have to watch as their kids call someone else Daddy, someone they spend everyday with and he only gets the odd weekend and phone calls. Men who struggle with the lost of time with their children. Time they can never make up on a weekend or over the phone. Someone else is giving them bath time, reading stories at night, doing monster hunts, fixing boo boo’s and holding their hand as they walk to school.

It is a hard question, one most of us don't want to think about. But how would knowing that you are dying change how you live and parent. I would like to think that I would not be different, but I know that I would try to make the most out of every moment I had. It would change how I parent and just how I live my life. Would it change yours? How would you handle dying and being a parent?

It was pointed out to me that in my blog Aftereffects, pedophile goes to jail now what I was not as clear as I could be that I feel his wife was and is a victim as well. I don’t think she was anything but a victim in this. That does not mean she does not feel guilt. Guilt because she thinks she should have known, how could she live with someone like that and not know? I don’t ever want to deal with questions like that. One day your life is normal and the next you are the wife of a monster. You loose your identity and instead become the wife of a pedophile, a rapist or a killer. And people ask, “How could you not know?” and it is hard to answer because the same question is running through your head.

Quoted: Family-friendly information on Private Preschools in the Seattle area from GoCityKids (tm), the City Guide for Parents

Most kids need routines; it gives them a feeling of control and security. They know what to expect and what is expected of them. Real problems can come when a routine is disrupted. A child can feel insecure, threatened or scared and will often act out when their routine is interrupted. Life happens and we the parents or caregivers cannot always meet our children’s needs for consistency and routine, all we can do is deal with the disruption or permanent changes and any reactions our kids have.