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Really, the headline says it all. But in case you needed this explained to you: a British spa is spraying patrons’ penises with liquid nitrogen to give them better sexual experiences. Which, like—what?

Seems the Ainscow Spa in the English burg of Manchester is more than willing to give you what they’re calling a “Love Mist,” which is comprised of spraying your junk with -256 degree liquid nitrogen vapor. Their justification for this barbarism?

When the frigid temps cover the skin on your penis, the sudden drop in heat triggers your temperature receptors and makes your brain tell your blood vessels to undergo “vasoconstriction,” according to the spa’s website. “This produces a quicker blood flow and ramps up endorphin levels, generating a natural high,” the staff writes.

Your penis could also look better in the long run. “While the skin continues to feel the ‘freeze,’ the body sends signals back and forth to the brain,” the spa claims. “These messengers tell the brain if there is damage to the tissues, to repair them. [This] generates a tighter, youthful, clear, and vibrant genital skin appearance through boosting collagen.” That means when your skin freezes, your body’s natural response to repair the skin will supposedly result in an improved look.

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Okay, that’s it. I’m calling bullshit. This is the bullshit.

You want your junk to look better? I dunno, maybe try, um, not tugging on it so much?

I hate to think what people are paying to have their penises frozen. And for a supposedly better sexual experience, nonetheless. This is the worst kind of snake oil salesmanship.

(h/t Men’s Health)