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In an especially bizarre story with a lot of moving parts, it’s been revealed Tim Lambesis, formerly of the Christian metalcore band (and best non-literary endeavor named after a Faulkner novel) As I Lay Dying, is out of prison after serving two-and-a-half years of a six-year sentence. Why was he locked up, you ask? Oh, he’d just pleaded guilty to attempting to hire a hitman to murder his (now ex) wife. No biggie.

Apparently, ol’ Tim’s got it pretty swell these days. Per Metal Injection:

[G]uitarist George Lynch revealed that Lambesis had been out for a while. Lynch’s daughter was engaged Lambesis’ former bandmate, guitarist Nick Hipa, which is how Lynch has the info. Lynch said “He’s out, he’s got a mega record deal, he’s got a book deal, everything’s lined up for him. I mean, he’s gonna skate through life. Everybody else is suffering. His wife is living in fear, his children are living in fear. His band doesn’t have a pot to piss in.” This, of course, speaks to the fact that the former members of As I Lay Dying quit the band due to Lambesis’ actions and now are struggling to get their new band, Wovenwar, off the ground, while Lambesis is using the publicity of his crime to secure a better career for himself.

And not only has Lambesis been the apparent recipient of various tell-all (scream-all?) media deals, he’s got a new gal on his arm—and they’re about to get married.

This gives the whole “stand by your man” thing a whole new definition:

Lambesis’ fiancé, Amanda Dubord, was the same woman Lambesis was dating before being arrested. In fact, Amanda drove with him to the Barnes and Nobles, the night he got arrested by a cop posing as a hitman [sic].

So, this girl, whom Lambesis was having an affair with, was not only present when the singer got arrested for soliciting an undercover cop posing as a hit man to murder his then-wife—she actually stuck with him the entire time he was in prison tweeting unironically about Father’s Day, selling his prison ID and…filing a $35 million lawsuit over developing manboobs (??).

This is all very confusing, and while I personally wish the Wovenwar gents the best of luck, I’m not quite sure how to feel about Lambesis’ early release and pending marriage to this possible superfan.

In any case, this song from 2003 will always have a special place in my early-aughts-angsty-teen-emo heart:

(h/t Metal Injection)

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