People just love binaries: black or white, right or wrong, good or bad—or in this case, “scary or sexy?”
That’s what Barstool Sports asks of its readers on presenting them with this video:
So, what’ve we got here? This young girl somehow manages to “limbo” under an SUV while holding a tray of drinks, coming out the other side without spilling a drop. Pretty cool, right? Like, that’s a genuinely cool talent.
But even before we see the video, we’re asked if the whole scenario is “scary or sexy”:
This is a real toss-up. Obviously, on camera it’s pretty sexy watching a hardbody in a tight suit go as low as humanly possible, but I’m not totally sure it translates to real-life sexy. It’s like BDSM or gaping, sure it gets you going on video but in practicality I don’t know if I could handle electric prods or seeing a colon with my actual eyes in the wild. Yeah, sitting on my couch I think, “Dammmmn I bet that girl could do some wild shit in bed,” but I feel like once you get in the rack and this chick starts contorting her body in inhuman ways you’re just gonna be like, “Hey man, I didn’t sign up to fuck that chick from the exorcist.” Maybe that makes me a lame, I don’t know. Real ones will remember Vanessa Lane from back in the day and while I certainly dabbled in her films I can’t imagine a time in real life where some chick would want to give me a crab-legged blowjob and I didn’t immediately start thinking Can we just do missionary? I’m scared right now.
Huh, not exactly the direction we were thinking of going with this, but hey, still a cool video.
(h/t Barstool Sports)