At one point in this agony, someone says, “Maybe we should call a doctor.”
Yeah, that should have been done before some bozo took a razor blade — A RAZOR BLADE! — and used it to cut a scab off the back of someone’s head.
“Is that scab?”
“Yeah, and hair.”
And then after they cut off the scab, they insisted on squeezing out the gunk from a zit.
This is exactly why you don’t do this at home, kids — or on a backyard with someone wielding a razor.. The guy who is the subject of this backyard operation was in horrible pain, and it clearly wasn’t worth it.