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In what can only be a sign of the coming rapture—the end of days, if you will—Syfy has officially greenlit the fifth installment of the Sharknado series, all films of which, for the uninitiated, somehow involve sharks getting swept up in a tornado, forming the movie’s eponymous vortex of death and destruction.

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Per IMDB, the flick will be called Sharknado 5: Earth 0, which I assume is meant to imply some sort of shark-tornado-versus-humanity-at-large score. And according to Variety, stars Ian Ziering and Tara Reid (yep) are already signed on to film this fifth iteration of the shark-meets-weather-phenomenon franchise. Goodie.

In defense of the franchise, there’s been some meta-mockery in the form of obvious product placement and consistently self-deprecating titles: Sharknado 2: The Second OneSharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, and Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens—but really, folks, enough is enough.

There’s a lesson somewhere in here: Anything after the sequel sucks (with, in my humble opinion, the exception being the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy). Look at all the Jurassic Parks that’ve come out! Were those any good after the first one—and maybe The Lost World, just maybe because of Vince Vaughn? And let’s not even talk about The Fast & The Furious. What’s that on, like, Movie Number 15?

As always, someone’s said it better than me, and that someone is Jon Lovitz in his egregiously underrated show The Critic:

All we can do is pray that, by the end of Sharknado 5, the global shark-tornado-superstorm has wiped out humanity and we’ll never, ever again have to deal with another piece of garbage from this dumpster fire of a franchise.

(h/t A.V. Club)

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