Oh, no. Oh, dear lord, no. McDonald’s has done a lot of truly heinous shit during its tenure as the globe’s number one fast-food restaurant (and cause of America’s obesity epidemic) but this just about damn near tops the list. A crab sandwich? Made with what, exactly? Because you know that crab isn’t fresh. I mean, if that’s even crab. (Do you think it’s crab?)
The burger giant said Thursday that it is now serving a crab sandwich at four San Jose, California, locations as part of a test run. The new menu item consists of snow crab meat mixed with diced celery and mayo and served with lettuce and tomato on a toasted sourdough bun. The fast food chain said it tapped former Top Chef contestant Ryan Scott to help make it.
The move was spurred by the success of the chain’s regionally exclusive Gilroy Garlic Fries, which were sold out in Bay Area stores last May. If the crab sandwich proves to be a similar hit, the chain plans to roll it out at 250 locations across the region.
And it’s not like I’m a plant-lover or subsist on a vegan diet or anything like that. I don’t believe in salad and my favorite burger joint is White Castle (yeah, yeah, I get that you’ve got In-N-Out, West Coast, but we work with what we’re given, out here). But this… this “McCrab/Crab Sandwich” or whatever it is just seems offensive to all five senses and just generally terrible.