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Ah, the University of Maryland, my dear alma mater—what will you think of next? First, we had the infamous “cunt punt” sorority email, and now we’ve got this… wait, what? Lettuce Club? What the shit is a Lettuce Club? Let’s check this out together, folks:

Oh, okay. Wow. Umm. I mean, at least this seems really wholesome in comparison with what usually goes down in College Park, Maryland, a town where riots in 2010 received national attention because of the widespread documentation of police brutality and spurred numerous lawsuits. (Full disclosure: I actually spent my 21st birthday in a holding cell because of that one. Thanks, Prince George’s County Police—I was just trying to get my first legal drink!)

Anyway, all fondness for my alma mater aside, what the hell is this Lettuce Club? It just looks like these kids are consuming entire heads of lettuce for some reason. Maybe they’re really scared of colon cancer? Ah, wait, here we are; per Foodbeast:

The students of UMD’s Lettuce Club held a lettuce eating contest last week, where students tried to eat entire heads of lettuce as quickly as possible, all for the right to become club leader, AKA, The Head of Lettuce, and plan the next meeting.

May the best lettuce eater win, I suppose? Jesus, I can’t believe I went to school here. I’m going to stop telling people that.

Although… I can’t help wondering if the club receives funding from the school.

(h/t Foodbeast)