The Associated Press: Flooding, Heavy Snow Plague MidwestFirst Faved : Mar 22 2008 by zerohourFaved : 1 time with noteViewed : 1 timeFave It!
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it's almost april. i cannot abide by five inches of snow in late march.
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fuckin 'eh.
abide, bitches!!!
i maintain a strict intolerance toward this heinous audacity of Physis. i cannot condone this callous disregard for my comfort any longer.
you should strategically mount blowtorches all over your bicycle and bike literally EVERYWHERE until all the snow is gone and physis knows damn well that you are a force to reckon with. i am sitting in my room with the window, a nice spring breeze wafting in. but don't let my distinctly sublime levels of personal comfort fool you, i would be fucking out there with my bike i call the fireball.. if i thought it was called for.
...and i recognize this goes against my first advice. maybe i was just testing you. or luring you into schizophrenic fits of insanity for my own amusement. its up to you to decide which.
it'll be back up into the 40s and 50s by the time i got that bike together, but fuck, that would be fun.
to hell with everyone else. i should just settle for my own personal comfort, and set myself on fire before i leave the house.
better yet, just set random motorists on fire. they'll burn hotter and, when they explode, clear all snow within a 40 foot radius
me likes this.
our shoulder-mounted poop launcher bike accessory should have a pilot lit and a propane tank, to set the poop a-flamin!