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If Juno Was 10 Times Shorter and 100 Times More Honest | Cracked.comFirst Faved : Apr 19 2008 by baoraoFaved : 1 time with noteViewed : 17 timesFave It!

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  • baorao - Apr 19 2008 | movies, humor

    I couldn't agree more. This movie annoyed the hell out of me, but redeemed itself enough in the final 10 mins to move from "that sucked" to "I don't understand why it won any awards or why people liked it so much".

    Quoted: Today we're bringing you an abridged version of the screenplay for Oscar winner Juno, as provided by Rod Hilton, creator of The-Editing-Room.com.

    ELLEN PAGE
    "Now relinquish the bathroom key geeves, I for shizz need to spout."

    RAINN WILSON
    "I can barely understand you. Is there a reason you're talking like what seems like a teenager designed by a committee of adults that have researched youth by watching MTV around the clock?"

    ELLEN PAGE
    "Yes, and you better start talking like that too or you'll have no place in the movie, Dwight."

    RAINN WILSON
    "Oh, er, uh, I mean that's one doodle that can't be undid homeskillet oh my god I need a new agent."

    *ELLEN pisses on a pregnancy test and it tells her that she's PREGNANT as well as PRECOCIOUS.*

    ELLEN PAGE

    "This sucks. The only thing left to do is walk home morosely while yet another obnoxious indie song blares."
    ...
    ELLEN PAGE
    "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't think you heard me. I'm talking on a HAMBURGER PHONE. How zany is that? That's for shizz quirky."

    • derek - Apr 19 2008

      pwn3d

    • ms.kruse - Apr 19 2008

      I agree. Juno was unrealistic, antiseptic and often contrived. You know that the abortion was never an option in the movie because we'd never hear the end of it from the AFA. Thanks for the "edgy" after-school special.

    • baorao - Apr 19 2008

      Even her immaturity was unrealistic, and thats what really bothered me. Her behavior when she met the adoptive couple was just absolutely ridiculous and heavy-handed. A little more subtlety would have helped.

    • drew_s - Apr 24 2008

      Amen to all of that.

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