Believe it or not this, well not this exactly, is a big (irrational) fear of mine. It is part of why I can't imagine living any farther than 20 minutes from a hospital.

Quoted: The spokesman said Brunkert hit his head against a glass door in his dining room, shattering the glass and cutting himself in the neck. He managed to wrap a towel around his neck and left the house to seek help, but collapsed in the garden.

Undoubtedly the most inappropriate and misleading headline I have ever seen in my life. CNN must be fuming.

Quoted: LOS ANGELES - Rock 'n' roll pioneer Ike Turner, who rose to fame in the 1950s and became a star performing with his ex-wife, Tina Turner, has died at age 76, said an official with the performer's management company.

Quoted: James Blunt seems to have conquered more than the music charts -- the singer has allegedly deflowered an entire Swiss ski resort. The "You're Beautiful" singer, famed for his womanising ways, has apparently taken the virginity of hundreds of chalet girls at his favourite resort in Switzerland. His conquests proudly wear T-shirts bearing the slogan "James Blunt took my virginity".

To quote the Fark headline:

In other news, there is no God.

Wake up your inner audiophile. He's going to want to get in on this.

Quoted: Pressing plants are ramping up production, but where is the demand coming from? Why do so many people still love vinyl, even though its bulky, analog nature is anathema to everything music is supposed to be these days? Records, the vinyl evangelists will tell you, provide more of a connection between fans and artists. And many of today's music fans buy 180-gram vinyl LPs for home listening and MP3s for their portable devices.

I am a couple of weeks late, but damn do I feel old.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spencer_Elden

Quoted: Spencer Elden (born on June 27, 1991) is the model who appeared on the cover of Nirvana's album Nevermind. Nirvana considered using a stock photograph of a swimming baby, but when that proved too expensive, they hired photographer Kirk Weddle. Weddle's friends, Renata and Rick Elden, allowed their son Spencer to be photographed for about $200.

I deleted the actual headline and replaced it with the one from Fark. It just works so much better.

Quoted: The lead singer of Right Said Fred, Richard Fairbrass, and an Australian activist were among marchers bashed at a gay rights rally in Moscow yesterday.