Only in Florida.

News from last Thursday that I had been meaning to share.

Quoted: The bus was moving through the city of North Lauderdale on Thursday when passenger James Kiernan received a text message about Jackson's death on his cell phone, and he read it aloud on the bus, the Broward County Sheriff's Department said. The unidentified bus driver opined that "Michael Jackson should have been in jail long ago," prompting Kiernan, 60, to retort that "the world just lost a great musical talent," the police report said. That last remark enraged another passenger, Henry Wideman, who started a swearing match with Kiernan, then pulled out a knife and chased Kiernan down the aisle with it.

Apparently when it comes to certain topics, the internet is one elaborate maze of dominoes.

Quoted: As sites fell, users raced to other sites: TechCrunch reported that TMZ, which broke the story, had several outages; users then switched to Perez Hilton's blog, which also struggled to deal with the requests it received. CNN reported a fivefold rise in traffic and visitors in just over an hour, receiving 20 million page views in the hour the story broke. Twitter crashed as users saw multiple "fail whales" -- the illustrations the site uses as error messages -- user FoieGrasie posting, "Irony: The protesters in Iran using Twitter as com are unable to get online because of all the posts of 'Michael Jackson RIP.' Well done." The site's status blog said that Twitter had had to temporarily disable its search results, saved searches and trend topics.

In future news, drunken man falls to his death in attempt to sniff dirty panties.

Quoted: There are several ways of dealing with noisy neighbors. While many resort to calling the police, others turn to soiled panties for help. Yes, soiled panties.

Quoted: Paul Donahoe and one of his University of Nebraska wrestling teammates posed nude for a pornographic Web site aimed at gay men. And that was only the beginning of the trouble.

A very interesting article. However it (indirectly) launches a very challenging debate about halfway through.

Quoted: Donahoe says he is straight

Can someone claim to be straight if they knowingly agree to

Quoted: "There Donahoe was, gyrating and masturbating among tousled bed sheets, under running water in a marbled tile shower and on a charcoal chaise lounge facing a patio window.

on camera, knowing it would be posted to a porn website for gay men? Does it matter if you're a wrestler?

Then it gets to the true question of a double standard, given Nebraska's checkered history of turning the other cheek with football players.

Hilarious. I take it this was a taxidermy stuffed panther that was alive at one point? I hope so, because anything less would be ridiculous.

Quoted: Warren Police scrambled about 10 officers after a 911 caller reported seeing a black panther in a wooded area near the southern side of Bates Park. 'It's huge,' the caller insisted.

Mark Dantonio strangely gives himself a little hanging rope for some later point in his career.

Maybe this is a forced situation by the NCAA, but the odds that the rest of Glenn Winston's career at MSU goes on without incident are *extremely* small.

Quoted: Suspended Michigan State running back Glenn Winston will remain on an athletic scholarship while he serves a six-month jail sentence for two misdemeanor assault convictions, coach Mark Dantonio said.

Dude, wtf? Either commodities are going to get a whole lot more expensive, or the high seas are going to turn into a war zone.

The other amazing part of these hijackings is that the maritime area where this is happening is about 1,000,000 sq miles, or roughly the size of all the land east of the Mississippi River.

Quoted: Pirates off the coast of Somalia hijacked a second freighter Tuesday, a NATO spokesman said...Earlier in the day, pirates hijacked a 35,000-ton Greek-owned bulk carrier in the Gulf of Aden, off Somalia's northern coast, the European Union's Maritime Security Center said.

Drew or Liz, is this a bluff? How can that possibly make this a federal case?

Quoted: Investigators said 52-year-old Louis J. Levine invited students to his house on Alton Road in west Nashville, where teenagers were given drugs, alcohol and engaged in sexual activities. They said Levine secretly taped the sexual activity. Hundreds of tapes were recovered at the home...Officials said Levine faces federal charges for child pornography because the video equipment was manufactured in Japan. State charges are also expected.

This was one conversation I wasn't prepared for this morning

Dad: Who is Karl Penn?
Me: What? I don't know
Dad: Apparently he is an actor.
Me (internally) :"Maybe he means Kal Penn, but why the hell would he know Kal Penn's name? Oh well"
Dad: Well whoever he is, he quit acting to work for Obama?
Me: *spit take* *pulls up Google*
Dad: "So what has he been in?"
Me: "ummmm... (thinking about Harold & Kumar)... nothing"

Quoted: New Jersey-born actor Kal Penn, who played a stoner Guantanamo Bay escapee in the movies and a doctor on TV's "House," has scored a job in the White House. Penn, 31, will become associate director in the White House Office of Public Liaison, administration officials confirmed Tuesday.