Nine years of blindness almost drove Sharron "Kay" Thornton to suicide. Kay Thornton, with Dr. Perez, can see again after surgery in which a tooth was implanted into her eye. In the end, it was one of her teeth and a procedure surgeons said was never before done in the United States that restored her sight. To start the procedure, surgeons remove a healthy tooth and part of the patient's jawbone. The tooth and bone were then shaved and sculpted, and a hole was drilled into them to hold the prosthetic lens. Then the whole unit was implanted into Thornton's chest and left for several months, allowing the tooth and lens to bond. This was then implanted into her eye. - CNN.com

SATIRE - Congress says that with no way to actually pay back our debts, faking a coup to eliminate financial obligations is the best plan for the U.S. economy. - THE ONION

SATIRE - President Barack Obama today celebrated his 48th birthday with a retroactive declaration of statehood for Kenya, his father's homeland and the nation where some skeptics say he was born on August 4, 1961. Conspiracy theorists, collectively called 'birthers' by those who trust the president's version of events, say Obama has refused to release his official birth certificate, so no one can be sure that he's a 'natural born' U.S. citizen, or even that he's at least 35 years old and, therefore, Constitutionally qualified for the office. By declaring Kenya a U.S. state retroactive to July 1961, the president said he hoped to "put an end to fruitless speculation about my citizenship, which should -- by the way -- be a private matter between a woman and her obstetrician, or village midwife as the case may be." - WASHINGTON EXAMINER

It seems John Quincy Adams was way ahead of his time. A high school student touring the sixth U.S. president's archives recently noticed his bite-sized diary entries looked a lot like tweets. Starting Wednesday, history will meet modern technology as the Massachusetts Historical Society begins posting Adams' updates from 200 years ago on Twitter. The tweets will include mentions of his favorite reads, memorable meals, weather updates and the daily drama of months at sea. - THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Italian newspaper says plane crash north of Tehran which left 168 people dead was caused by explosion of fuses slated to be delivered to Lebanese organization. According to the sources, the aircraft was carrying a large number of modern fuses composed of 2 kilograms (4.4 pounds) of explosives and electrical instrumentation. According to the sources, the plane was meant to transfer the fuses from Iran to Armenia, and from there to Syria through Turkey, and then on the ground to Lebanon. This route was chosen, according to exiled opposition sources, so as not to draw attention. - YNET NEWS.com

More than 50 heads of state from the developing world met last week in Egypt to tackle the fallout from the global economic meltdown, with calls for a "new world order" to prevent a repeat of the crisis. Cuban President Raul Castro said: "Every country in the world must seek just solutions to the global economic crisis. We call for a new monetary and economic world order... we must restructure the world financial system to take into consideration the needs of developing countries." Global power dynamics also need to be addressed, Libyan leader Moamer Kadhafi said, demanding a restructuring of the UN Security Council which he branded a form of terrorism "monopolised by a few countries that are permanent members." - BUSINESS RECORDER

SATIRE - "America's finest news source" has been bought by a Chinese company. At least, that's what the satirical newspaper The Onion claims on its homepage, with the amended tagline: "America's finest news source and salvage fishery." The paper says it was sold to a conglomerate based in China's Sichuan province — the Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corp. "As you know, the American newspaper and print industry has been in great, great decline," Joe Randazzo, the paper's editor, tells Robert Siegel. "And The Onion was at a point of great vulnerability, crouched like an injured dog in the corner. And the Yu Wan Mei group came [and] saw it as an opportunity to at once extend its reach into the Western world — and to also provide benevolent support in its time of need." - NPR.org

[Do visit www.TheOnion.com to see the running Chinese-themed stories. See American from the Communist point of view, according to The Onion. It's LOL funny.]

Serving a 36-year-old government-issue cake at an Army retirement ceremony sounds like a classic bureaucratic mistake, but there was no mistake about it. Retiring Army Col. Henry Moak served it up himself -- at his own ceremony. Moak had saved the cake since 1973, when he got it while serving in Vietnam, and had long-standing plans to open it upon his retirement. To most people's surprise, the opened can revealed a still-edible yellow cake. Moak took a bite and put up his thumb, "It's good, it's still kind of moist," he declared. - CNN.com

An Iranian passenger plane carrying 168 people crashed a quarter-hour after takeoff Wednesday, smashing into a field northwest of the capital and shattering to pieces. State television said all on board were killed. - CNN.com