Ha! Fake Steve Jobs gives all the media a chance to finish up their Microhoo stories and get prepped for the new iPhone on June 9th.

Apparently the R. Kelly kiddie porn trial is having some issues getting people onto the jury. The Chicago Tribune looks at the 12 ways you can get dismissed from this high profile trial. Some of them, like the one where the guy states that R.Kelly may be in league with the Taliban and responsible for 9/11 are patently, er, ludicris...

Hilarious post from defective yeti re: "The Coolidge effect" and mating elephant seals.

Quoted: defective yeti: The Musings of Matthew Baldwin, Pretty Okay Guy

Wonderful. "Bring your daughter to war" day in Iraq. Love the Onion.

Quoted: Girls between the ages of 8 and 14 spent the day helping their parents fight insurgents and defuse mines.

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Horrible. Frightening. Funny. Barack Obama-sistible!

Quoted: This is our first song and our first foray into campaign videos. Check back at our site for new songs and videos.

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I like the Japanese rip-off of "We are the World" better than the US original. Hilarious.

Quoted: we are the world ものまねimpersonator

Rubber Ducky for giants!

Quoted: A yellow spot on the horizon slowly approaches the coast. People have gatherd and watch in amazement as a giant yellow Rubber Duck approaches. The spectators are greeted by the duck, which slowly nods its head. The Rubber Duck knows no frontiers, it doesn't discriminate people and doesn't have a political connotation. The friendly, floating Rubber Duck has healing properties: it can relieve mondial tensions as well as define them. The rubber duck is soft, friendly and suitable for all ages!

Too bad for these poor Croatians. Paint yourself blue like a smurf and find out it's all for naught. At least they have lovely pictures!

Quoted: Hundreds of Croatians painted themselves blue and put on silly hats to beat a world record - only to find they were too late.

If you want to do something fun, go listen to this isolated David Lee Roth vocal track from "Runnin' with the Devil." (It's at the bottom of the short article). Sweet!