Several years ago I was helping to haul a mountain of books to a high school basement in Durham, where Frank McCourt was furiously signing them before his reading for the Regulator. The very pompous principal walked in and grandly introduced himself, then started introducing the other school administrators. After a couple minutes McCourt cut him off, saying "in the time I've been listening to you, I could have signed fifty books."

if you drive your car into a group of bike riders and run people over because you're "late for a reservation", you and your car deserve what they get.

the driver's story (http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/the_driver_speaks) about just wanting to rev his engine and not knowing the car was in gear is somewhat plausible, but still, you can't blame people for how they responded.

the driver does get decency points for saying the critical mass people should not be prosecuted.

shock--disbelief!

Quoted: In the cover letter to his December 2006 report to investors, "Radio Shack: Still Here In The 21st Century," Day wrote that he had no reason to believe that the coming year would not be every bit as good as years past, provided that people kept on doing things much the same way they always had.

this is not an onion article. it seems to be real.

Quoted: "He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

Quoted: The State Department releases details of Rice's upcoming diplomatic journey..."Rice shall calm her savage hosts with song and tales of her travels. The emperors of the Orient shall bow low before her...We can only hope for her safe return, that she might relate her newfound knowledge of the strange yellow-faced peoples and their great wall."

this is great

Quoted: Older Americans are increasingly turning to video games for recreation.

Quoted: Despite off games by Tyler Hansbrough and Ty Lawson, the Tar Heels (31-6) saved themselves and set up a regional final for college basketball fans to savor: North Carolina vs. Georgetown, a rematch of the 1982 championship game that Michael Jordan won in the closing seconds.

i know, nobody cares around here. i don't care that nobody cares.