If you've seen Californication, this will be more amusing.

Apparently, the pill might change what kind of guy I'm attracted to.

Quoted: Swapping spit: The term takes on a more refined meaning at the new dating site ScientificMatch.com . A prerequisite for signing up -- in addition to having a bit of cash to spare -- involves swishing a cotton swab inside your cheek and mailing a juicy sample of skin cells and saliva.

Quoted: Sharon Osbourne, Piers Morgan and The Hoff were left agog during the latest round of America's Got Talent auditions after a hopeful smashed beer cans with her 40lb breasts.

Quoted: Long Island, N.Y. teenager Alia Sabur may be old enough to teach math and physics, but she's not old enough to join her fellow professors for a drink after class. Sabur was three days short of her 19th birthday in February when she was hired to become a professor at Konkuk University in Seoul, Korea.

It's been blatantly obvious to anyone who's not a complete idiot that Bush has committed enough crimes over the last 8 years not only to be impeached, but also to be imprisoned. Why the hell are American's such amoral cowards?

...ended when police BMW caught up with the Bugatti.

I laugh every time I see that little girl in the ring looking like she's about to cry.