Damnit!!!!!! My washing machine broke and now I can't find the F-14 intake valve needed to replace it.

Why the f•ck were we selling F-14 parts to the general public?

Grumman makes the F-14 and the government has a monopoly on the plane. There's no John Doe with an F-14 in his garage. The only F-14s in the world are operated by governments. Sales should go from US govt to other govts, not from the US govt to some sales rep guy.

And how are there F-14 surplus parts? Are these parts made in huge quantities? I can see why Hasbro would make a million Tickle Me Elmos. I just don't understand how govt contractors could have overshot the public (wait no, i mean govt's) demand for F-14 parts.

Are the people in charge of maintaing defense supply lines more stupid than the people who make vibrating children's dolls? Yes.

Quoted: The Pentagon said Tuesday it had halted sales of spare parts from its recently retired F-14 fighter jet fleet, even as lawmakers pledged tougher oversight of the military’s surplus sales to stop buyers for Iran and other countries from acquiring gear.

The Brits are awesome.

Quoted: Breaking news stories updated 24/7

Success!!!

Quoted: Foreign-born entrepreneurs were behind one in four U.S. technology startups over the past decade, according to a study to be published Thursday.

This story is awl-ful. Serioiusly, it's full of awl.

Quoted: A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.

Oh, man, that's gross. Check out the photo that comes with this Dot. It's an old asian lady on the right and an ice cream sundae on the left. Two breast-shaped piles of soft vanilla topped with cherries for nipples. Oh yeah! I'd eat that.

I hate this story. Because it's true.

And more importantly, it affects my eBay auctions to UK and Europe. eBay updates all amounts within minutes based on real time exchange rates. One moment, an item selling for 28 British Pound Sterlings will be converted to $55.79 and the next moment, the same item that is going for 28 BPS is valued at $54.00. You may think that $1.79 is not much. But when your item has 6 more days for the dollar to slide more and you have several dozen items going to UK and Europe, you can't help but sit there and watch yourself lose money.

Quoted: The dollar suffered sharp falls on Thursday, hit by reports of weak US business activity and a benign inflation picture.

Microsoft has Demetri Martin. Apple has John Hodgman. Which comedian is funnier? This one goes to Apple. I remember reading Hodgman's book and laughing my ass off. This was before Hodgman became a huge success on the Daily Show and began appearing on Apple commercials.

Bush goes to Vietnam... for the first time.

Many say he's going for the APEC meeting. But insiders know that Bush is really there to learn lessons so that we can fight the war in Iraq.

In other news, the White House webpage put up the wrong flag of Vietnam. This is a lot like the time they flipped the Canadian flag. Or that time they called the Chinese President the President of Taiwan.

Why didn't Bush just look up the flag on The Google on the internets? The White House web techies are doing a heckuva job.

Dissapointing list: Australia's Sydney Opera House? That opera house is so overrated. Eiffel Tower and Statue of Liberty are also overrated.

Dubai's Palm Islands should have made the list. Dubai's World Islands as well. Dubai's Burj Dubai should have made the list (but won't be completed til 2008).

Vietnam's Ho Chi Minh Trail should have also made the list just for the fact that it's one of the most primitive yet effective tunnel systems which crippled the US during the Vietnam War.

China's Three Gourges Dam.

The Panama Canal.

Or maybe my choices are all really nerdy engineering choices.

Quoted: Here are descriptions of the 21 candidates in the "New 7 Wonders of the World" competition.